Habits
Happy hump day people!
How is your week treating you? I’ve been coasting through this week just waiting for the weekend. I get to celebrate 3 Christmas parties this weekend. It’s gonna be a great time!!
Now it’s time to get heavy. As the year comes to an end, and we look forward to a fresh, new year, things must be put in perspective. I’ve discussed What’s Keeping Me At This Weight, Understanding, and Facing the Facts. All these revelations have been great, but what is one key factor that is shared by all these posts?
Habits…
When I look at the definitions above, I relate most to the first and fifth definition. If you look at your day, you can see numerous habits: how you like your coffee, what route you drive to work, what time you go to lunch. Don’t get me wrong, not all habits are bad. Getting regular checkups at the doctor is a good habit. Flossing and brushing your teeth are good habits.
But what do you do when your habit changes from good to bad? When it changes from every once in a while to an addiction?
It’s hard to admit, but I have an extremely addictive personality. When I find something I like, I want all of it all the time. Just look at wine, for example. Once I discovered I liked wine so much, it became my drink of choice.
My birthday presents from my friends….see a trend?
A few years back, when I was so stressed over money and job problems, I formed the habit of coming home and having a drink after work. As my tolerance built, I kept adding on another glass. Now most of my days don’t pass without a glass of wine or a martini. I realize this isn’t the end of the world, but this habit has the potential to be life ruining.
Breaking this habit, as well as some serious eating habits, is one of the most difficult things I’ve had to face yet, and to be real, I haven’t truly faced it. I honestly believe it is the main road block in my journey to health. When I first started reading blogs, I came across Andi at Can You Stay For Dinner. She successfully lost half her body weight and has maintained it for quite a while. Some of her best posts: What I miss from 135 lbs ago -Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3, as well as Peace with Food. I constantly go back and reread these posts. It feels like she knows what I am thinking, what my deepest darkest feelings are, ones I don’t like to share with anyone.
Breaking a bad habit is like breaking up with a best friend. They were always there to comfort you, listen to you, share your joy and pain, fill the voids. They are familiar and soothing, understanding and unwavering. But even if they have been there for you for years, they haven’t always been good for you.
Giving up a part of yourself can be devastating, but it can also be incredibly worth it.
As the new year dawns, I will be saying goodbye to some parts of me that I just don’t need anymore. Some that I can’t need anymore. Andi said it perfectly: “Food is the place I go to escape. Many people do this. Obsession, in any form- be it with food, with schedules, with the future, with alcohol or drugs, is an avoidance of the present. It is a way of passing time, a way to “get through” life. Not to live life, but survive it.”
I don’t want to avoid the present anymore. Its’ time to live my life now.